CHAPTER ONE
GENETIC STRUCTURE
Bluffing -- Childhood
If your first words were Tll sue，\" you may not become a lawyer
but you ll be a good client. Real lawyers choose their first words
carefully， as in \"If， as you state， you are my mother， prove it.\"
There are other early indicators. Allergic reactions to everything
except blue or gray pinstriped diapers with your initials (at least
three) sewn on; a physiological need for milk spiked with whiskey
(particularly at the one o clock， four o clock and bedtime feedings);
the ability to manipulate other children into paying for your break-
fast， lunch， dinner， wardrobe， and prostitutes (sorry， mistresses and
an illegitimate child or two) in exchange for nothing; and the ability
to bluff.
Let s dwell on that last point for a moment.1 The gene for
bluffing is essential to the ribonucleic make-up of any budding
lawyer. Not intelligence， because that can be bluffed. Not savvy，
because that can bluffed. In fact， everything can be bluffed except
one physiological occurrence， and that is only limited to male attor-
neys. Nowadays， though， even that can be bluffed. The budding
attorney can say: \"Not that， not yet， I have a fear of getting an
incurable disease and since it s no good using a prophylactic，\" etc.，
etc.2
Thus， a child who is born to be a lawyer is born with the knack of
bluffing. Bluffing means being able to sound impressive (again， not
intelligent， since that s immaterial to the law)， while saying abso-
lutely nothing and knowing even less. This type of child is typically
termed \"precocious.\" For example:
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