| Some people have a satisfactory theory about life. They understand why they arealive and why there is evil and suffering in the world. They talk easily about loveand hate, freedom, pain, death. They seem to know what behavior is good andwhat is bad.Others, like myself, have no consistent theory to make life clear. We experience liferather than theorizing about it or trying to understand it. For us life is its ownexplanation. We may adopt a style of living for a time, then radically change it. Wemay adhere to some belief, then later dismiss it. Our critics see us as unstable,even selfish. Our friends accept us without needing explanation.Thus, for us life is not a preparation or even an unfolding awareness. It is simplylife--with sunshine days and foggy nights. It does not require interpretation. We feelthe sun warm on our face and it says all that needs to be said. We wander throughthe fog and it speaks to us all by itself.This is not to say that life is not at times paradoxical and mysterious, or painfuland opaque. It is simply to say that increasingly we do not define life or direct itscourse. We more or less stand back and let it happen. It is not that we never striveRather, we are not as conscious of striving.Great changes have taken place in my life, but they were not the changes Ianticipated. They were the changes I permitted to happen. The changes that Iwanted most earnestly actually occurred when somehow l ceased wanting them. Ihave learned that my distractions are usually more creative than my resolutions. |
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