INTRODUCTION
LIVING WITH REVENGE AND FORGIVENESS
()ne doesn t huve to look far to thld examples of revenge
and forgiveness~iust read the morning t)aper， live your
daily life， and there they are. ~e+ve all felt angry and said
things ~e later ~Arish VCe hadn t. The revenge we take with
our ~ords Ill;.iv he inomentarilv empo~.ering， until the
impact of x~hat x~e ve said hits home. Consider the weight
of xengeful words spoken against someone you care flir.
Forgiveness， on the other hand， e~tn give iis lremendous
relief， make us feel， momentarily， pretty sublime. There s
a rush to being t+orgiven， hut there is also a %~;.ty in which it
can feel embarrassing. ]o receive [ orgiveness nleans we re
also being called t() task， and sometimes， I don t knmv
about you， hut I d rather nw act of meanness just be fl)r-
goilen or ignored.
I~eVellge and forgiveness are hoth the restih of SOllle-
thing else- a wrong colnmitted or t)erceived. Each is a
wax ot: responding. Though revenge ina ~ often lake the
most obvious form such as a t~iend starting a false
rumor--it can also be subtle--that friend just doesn t
return your calls anymore. I:{evenge can take the form of
a rather small action or a couple of delicately ~orded
phrases that ~eaken the ground you re standing on.
~lears ago my mother hiv in a conla， dying. There had
I)een years of fracture bet~veen us that had worn me sad
and hitter. ()n one (if her last days， I closed the curtains in
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