Cashelmara Susan Howatch

There were two subjects I never discussed: my dead wife and Cashel-
mara. So when I first met a woman with whom I could discuss both
subjects with ease， it was hardly surprising that I should once again
flirt with the idea of marriage.
I had been a widower for eight years by the time I visited America
in the spring of 1859. My friends had long since convinced them-
selves that I was wedded to my wife s memory， but none of my
friends ever seemed to consider that even the most cherished memory
does have certain shortcomings. One cannot conduct a stimulating
conversation with a memory; one cannot take it to the theater or to
the.country or to bed. The void in the bedchamber is the least of
one s problems， since a man in my position can always find a mis-
tress; but the void elsewhere is less easy to fill， and I had begun to
despair of ever finding a woman who would do more than spend my
money， flaunt my title and bore me to death.
Naturally I had no wish to fall in love. At my time of life a man
makes himself a laughingstock if he succumbs to some ludicrous
infatuation， and， besides， I had too much pride and good sense to