I have memories of you before you were even born. Maybe that s
normal for mothers but I doubt big sisters feel that way too of-
ten. I just remember sitting around the kitchen table with Morn
and Emily (who was barely four at the time) arguing about what
your name was going to be and how that somehow made you
into a real person before I ever saw your face. Morn asked Em
and me for help because she felt like she had this power with
names she had to be careful with. Her middle name is %ss and
that s what she named me when she had me at only nineteen--
\"With big hair and big dreams\" she says--and I think some-
times she s afraid that s why I m turning out the way I am， so
much like she was when she married my real Dad instead of how
she is now with David.
1 was five when Morn and David got married， seven when
Morn finally got pregnant with Emily， and even I could see that
L ~ae was becoming a different person， like a real grown-up. She
never loo~ed glamorous anymorenjust pretty. She stopped
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